Mrs. Itsallaboutmenow
Helpful guide to all newborn empty nesters
Chapter 52
Many of my women friends are venturing out on this new unfamiliar phase of life. Many are sad and struggling. That is probably because they had girls and their children were well behaved and actually helped their mother. But, no matter what the reason, I am determined to lighten the spirits of the down cast.
I feel compelled to start at chapter 52 since that is the amount of years that I have lived. And yet, even though it is a lot of years, I am starting anew at this juncture. The past 25 of the 52 have been completely dedicated to worrying about ; money, children,husband, dogs, (not necessarily in that order- usually the dogs came first). Two of the three boys have graduated from college, the youngest boy has two more years at Indiana University. We lost our 16 year old dog last year and gained a wonderful rescue dog who does not pee and poop all over the house unlike the former dog mentioned. My husband loves his employment and I can safely say that due to my obsessive compulsive budgeting, the money worry can take last place for the time being. I retired from my job as a loan officer at a local mortgage company and am ready to take the next step in life. What is the next move? What is my purpose now? I can think about myself? Uh ohhh, guilt is taking over. I should be making sandwiches or washing sweaty mis-matched socks that I found on the kitchen counter. No... stop... It’s all about me now. Here is my daily guide of what to do for the first year of empty nesting for all of those who are struggling to hash out their newly altered life direction. You might even find that you LIKE it!
Day One:
First and foremost - realize that when you are 52 woman - you will most likely be sweating a lot. Here is my take on random but chronic perspiration:
*** it is probably curable with abstinence from caffeine and alcohol - which means it is incurable.
OK - I’m glad that we handled that issue.
Day one is time to go and get a manicure and a pedicure! You can do this now and for the first time ever you are able to leisurely wait until the nail polish dries! No more driving to the grocery store with your knuckles. Even though it has been a very long time since you have treated yourself to this luxury, do not be embarrassed by the amount of shavings that will pile up from the heel calluses. Do not think that when the pedicurist begins a conversation in another language to her co-worker, that she is gossiping about the grotesque mountain of dead skin amassing on the floor.
And, when your personal summer kicks in, and your soggy, moist hands slip out of the tiniest of tiny manicurist hands and she says, “ohhh you wet”.... just smile and agree and convince yourself that she means that the nail polish is wet. Most of this guide will have a lot to do with convincing yourself stuff because then it is magically true.
Before the manicure/pedicure, I want you all to have a healthy lunch. Today, I took the Edy’s vanilla bean ice cream out of the freezer and let it melt for 5 seconds. I grabbed a spoon and the Hershey’s chocolate syrup and then proceeded to scrape around the edges of the container for the softer ice cream, pour syrup directly onto the spoon and then eat. I didn’t count the spoonful total but I’m thinking it was somewhere between 5 and 45 bites - probably closer to 5. The total calorie count could not have been more than a single serving, I’m sure. Another major bonus - only one dirty spoon! Easy clean up! I really insist that everyone try this on any particularly sad empty nesting day. Instant cheer up!
Prescription:
- one manicure
- one pedicure
- one gallon Edy's ice cream
- one jug Hershey's chocolate syrup
- one spoon
Dosage:
- manicure : 1x2 weeks ish
- pedicure: 1x4 weeks
- healthy lunch: as needed for pain
No comments:
Post a Comment